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5 things teens DO like in their parents

This article provides balance to my earlier post on 7 things teens don’t like about their parents – here are things they DO like:

When parents act naturally

Part of growing up is understanding people, learning how they act and think – observing behaviours as young people try and work out who they are. So they love it when their parents can be real; when they don’t need to act intelligent, or to act strong, or to act calm but to allow them into some of the real conflicts that the adult world provides. When we show emotion, we hug them – just being ourselves.

When parents talk on their level as adults

Transactional analysis shows that we communicate on 1 of 3 basic levelsimage 10 5 things teens DO like in their parents (parent, child and adult) and our teens love it when we talk to them adult to adult. (Now I am the first to admit that it is not always possible to do this when they are acting like children). When we discuss and debater rather than dictate; when we negotiate rather than mandate; when we listen rather than just talk. try it – you will be surprised at how adult they can be (and how hard it is for them to not do what we ask when we ask it in an adult way).

When parents are firm

In contrast to their stated opinion young people love it when the boundaries are clearly stated and we are firm. Of course they will constantly seek to push them and stretch deadlines but they know it is good for them when we stick to our decisions. I don’t mean that we will never negotiate but I do mean we won’t be walked over.

When parents are polite to their friends

I am a firm believer on inviting their friends round to our house as often as possible – we can learn a great deal from knowing which people they hang out with. Whenever I do come into contact with my children’s friends – whoever they are and whatever they look like – I am always polite. It is a respectful thing to do and the opposite is totally unacceptable from your child’s point of view. IF you have issues then you can always talk them through (adult to adult) when the moment arrives – and that is never when the friend is there.

When their privacy is respected

Looking in diaries, walking into bedrooms, listening in to phone calls are NOT options to caring parents. Our teenagers are becoming adults and have a right to expect privacy – not just physically (bedroom, bathroom etc) but emotionally (diary) as well. If we have a concern then we should talk it out not snoop around.

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