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Stay at home moms living their lives Monday, January 24th, 2011

It is a misconception that because stay home mothers don’t work, their lives are easier than others. The truth is mothers that stay at home work harder than the rest of us. The job of a stay-at-home mother doesn’t end when the shift is over. It is a 24-hour gig.

The life of a stay-at-home mom can be very rewarding. However, it can become unsettling if you have very little interaction with the outside world. You can overcome this by searching for other mothers in your same position. Networking with other stay at home moms can be an excellent outlet for venting and even help you find new friends. Making friends with another stay at home mom can make things easier for you by allowing your children to play together and sharing some of the load and also by sharing helpful tips. It is important that a stay at home mother always allow time for herself. Set aside the time to take yourself shopping or treat yourself to other types of rewards. This is essential to your mental and emotional state and it will help you be a better mother. Other stay-at-home moms can help you accomplish this.

Try keeping your home life with your children as fun as possible. It is unhealthy for a stay-at-home mom to focus all of their attention on chores and what their children are doing wrong. Sadly it is actually quite common and can leave you feeling trapped. The most important thing is to fulfill your child’s needs. Your children need much more than focus on their bad behavior. In reality, you are the first teacher that your child will ever have. If you handle this appropriately, you can also be the greatest teacher. A good stay-at-home mom will teach their children helpful skills like their alphabets, counting and writing.

image 33 Stay at home moms living their livesBeing a stay-at-home mom can help you relive some of your childhood. It is completely acceptable and even healthy for you watch cartoons with your children, play games, and read their favorite books to them. These are fun activities that can help you find enjoyment in staying at home.

The greatest benefit of staying home to raise your children is that you don’t miss any of your child’s firsts. You will not miss their first bike ride, their first step, their first words, or their first smile. These are the types of things that build a strong relationship between you and your child. Before long your children will be grown and you will wish you had not missed these things. Take advantage of the time that you have with them now.


Few things are as irritating as not being able to sleep properly. Children require a lot more sleep than adults, as it’s necessary for the proper growth and development. The average child requires at least 9 hours of sleep per day and, in the case of babies, it can be as much as 18 hours. If your child experiences discomfort while sleeping or trying to sleep you are not alone, as this is one of the leading problems most parents have with their children. There are a few things you can do to help them to sleep well.

A simple way of helping your child to sleep better is by manipulating the amount of light available in the child’s room. People sleep better in dimly lit areas; this is because bright light inhibits the production of melatonin, a natural hormone that the body produces which aids in sleeping. By using thick curtains that don’t let bright light through, and by reducing night lights, you can enhance your child’s sleeping experience.

Developing a bed time routine can go a long way in helping your child sleep properly. Your bed time routine should constitute moments of love and affection to help the child relax; it may include telling a story, humming or just cuddling. Bed time routines should be brief and ideally should take place in the room where the child is going sleep. Timing is also very important, as it is not a good idea to force your child to sleep. Take note of the child’s behavior; when he/she begins to slow down and display other signs of being tired, then it is the perfect time to put your routine into action.

Encouraging your child to be active can also help them to sleep well. Sleeping is a recovery process; the more energy you exert during the day, the greater your body’s need for rest at night. It is important that you do not give the child any food or drink with caffeine less than six hours before bedtime, as this will just reenergize the child by suppressing the production of melatonin while increasing adrenalin levels. Also, avoid giving child big meals before bed time.

image 31 TECHNIQUES TO HELP YOUR CHILD SLEEP WELLComfort is necessary for anyone to sleep well, especially children. Many things can affect comfort level, such as temperature, noise, quality of the bed and so on. Extreme heat or cold will certainly inhibit a child’s ability to relax; children tend to sleep better when the room is nice and cool. As a parent, you want to make sure your child’s bed is not worn out and lumpy; you also want to make sure all bed linens are clean. There is a school of thought that the noise made by running fans and vaporizers helps babies to sleep better, as it simulates the sound babies hear in the womb.

These are some of the many ways you can use to help your child get the necessary amount of sleep required for his/her development. Sleep deprivation can seriously affect a child’s quality of life, so the onus is on you, the parent, to make the sleeping experience as pleasant as possible.

How to Help Your Child cope with Stress Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Blog Stress Children How to Help Your Child cope with StressIsn’t childhood a time of toys and play, a time of laughter and fun? For many children the answer is, no. “Childhood as a time of undiluted pleasure is a fiction concocted by adults,” claims one expert. Countless children today are victims of enormous turmoil. Unable to find healthy ways of dealing with their distress, some vainly attempt to suppress their anxiety. But pent-up stress eventually finds an outlet. For some, anxiety that cannot be talked out will result in physical illness or delinquent behavior. For others, stress will be turned inward by means of self-destructive acts, including self-inflicted injuries, eating disorders, substance abuse, and even suicide.

Help your children cope.

•           Keep the dialogue going. Never assume that because the child is silent, he is taking it well or adjusting. He may simply be bottling up anxiety and suffering in silence.

Dialogue is a lifeline between parent and child. It is especially vital when there has been some sort of traumatic event in the family. However the parent should not do all the talking. The word ‘dialogue’ indicates that two or more speakers are involved. It is advantageous to let a child express himself. Parents who tend to monopolize the conversation makes children grow impatient. If a child cannot talk out his problems when they develop, he may act them out later.

Dialogue is important when discipline is needed. Parents will know a child’s feeling about the correction. He understands why it is being given. Rather than simply telling the child how he should feel, find out what is in his heart. Reason with him so that he can be guided to the proper conclusion.

•           Acknowledge the child’s feelings. Don’t ignore whatever it is that bothers your child. Some parents stifle dialogue with such statements as: “Stop your crying.” “You shouldn’t feel that way.” “It isn’t really that bad.”

This will keep the dialogue going. “I see that something has made you worry.” “You look really upset.” “I know you must be disappointed.”

•           Empathize. Parents should recall their own childhood fears, even the irrational ones. Yes, they easily forget the pains and anxieties they themselves experienced while growing up. Therefore, they often minimize the stresses their children feel.

Since most adults view a child’s world from their own frame or reference, it is difficult for them to imagine any life but their own as stressful. Parents must remember what it was like to face the loss of a pet, the death of a friend, the move to a new neighborhood. Remembering is a key to empathy.

•           Set the right example. How your child handles stress depends to a great extent upon how you as a parent handle it. When you reduce stress by resorting to violence, and then do not be surprised when your child acts out his anxiety in a similar way. Also a child can’t be open and trusting when a parent is deeply disturbed and suffering in silence. Are stressful feelings so hidden in your household that they are denied rather than acknowledged and worked out? Then do not be startled by the physical and emotional toll it may take on your child, for any attempt to bury anxiety will normally only increase the severity of its expression.

A Guide on Children with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder 300x225 A Guide on Children with Obsessive Compulsive DisorderAs kids, we loved to arrange our M&M chocolates by color. Then we also had fun grouping triangles, squares and circles. Those were remnants of our nursery school activities. After a while, we outgrew that compulsion to group things by color or shape.

However, some kids do not outgrow that desire to arrange things. As they grow older it becomes an obsession. Before they know it, their everyday life is affected by OCD–or obsessive compulsive disorder.

An American study showed that three percent of school children have full-blown OCD. Aside from that, 19 percent have milder OCD. Even new mothers can become victims of OCD. This stems from a new mother’s fear that she may harm her baby. Because of that fear, the mother has to constantly check how her child is doing even if there’s no sense to that action anymore.

Up to now, experts cannot really pinpoint the exact cause of OCD. However, there are findings that point to a possible role of the brain chemical serotonin. Others claim that OCD could be genetically passed on through generations.

Obsession versus Compulsion

Obsessions are persistent senseless thoughts. For instance, one can be thoughts afraid of the number 13. A person may be paranoid about getting   stuck in an elevator. A housewife may constantly fear intruders or an office employee may constantly fear that his computer files might be damaged by a computer bug.

On the other hand, compulsions are repeated rituals. You may arrange and re-arrange your socks in the closet until you get sleepy doing so. A girl may spend hours putting on nail polish, removing. it then putting it on again. Your mother may not be able to eat without bringing a plate of bread-crumbs for the stray birds in your garden and so on…

Is It OCD Or Just A Harmless Ritual? Kids naturally develop rituals. That is part of their need to master certain skills. It also gives certain skills. It also gives them a sense of control. OCDs are different in the sense that the things people with OCD do are senseless and/or excessive. A child who insists on being read a fairy tale before bedtime is just enjoying a ritual. But a child who insists on the same story (or even the same page) over and over again may already have mild OCD. The disorder can stick until the child grows up. In other people, the disorder resurfaces in another form. For instance, a well-known showbiz personality admitted that he could not eat if the spoon and fork do not match! This example shows that OCD can greatly affect a person’s everyday life. In this case, it is advised that the person seek professional help because such serious cases of OCD do not only limit the person himself but even the people he lives with and relates to.

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