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Good Parenting Monday, June 7th, 2010

good parenting 2 300x289 Good ParentingLet’s face it, parenting can be a chore but a rewarding chore. But not everyone is prepared to be a parent. Well usually no one is prepared to be a parent. Handling another life and raising them takes guts, brains, patience, and a lot of knowledge. If you’re reading this you obviously want the latter. Below are just a few basic good parenting methods you should begin using. They are proven to work.

Teach Them Independence

From a young age you should be teaching your children how to be independent. They should learn about the world and be exposed to its activities. Sheltering your child too much will leave him vulnerable and helpless in the future. While I will say you don’t have to let them get too much exposure you should moderate what they learn, watch, read, and use. There is a reason games are rated. There is a reason T.V. shows are rated. Pay attention to them!

Teach Them Often

Children always have questions, but they don’t always voice them. Teach them without asking. Explain things and show them what is what and which is which. Tell them differences and comparisons. You should let your child learn on their own but offer assistance if you see they might need it. However remember to always ask first. Your child might get things very quickly and not need your help at that time.

Show Them Love

Always show your children that you love them. Children from an early age to their teens need to be shown love. Hug them, kiss them, and take them with you on trips. Talk about life, things, and news. Voice opinions and even have a few debates. Connect with your child to make an everlasting impression of love. Love is what makes the world go round and love is what will ensure your child a happy and successful life.

Look The Other Way

Sometimes your child will say or do things you dislike or feel is completely wrong. However your child is simply voicing or expressing himself. If you take that away from them, they will retaliate. Instead just look the other way and focus on the good qualities of your child. Compliment your child and let them know what they are doing or saying is impressive or admirable.

Respect

Respect is not always a given. If you do not respect your children and how can you expect them to respect you? Respect is a two way street. It needs to be given to be received. Don’t do something or say something to your child that you wouldn’t want your child to do or say. Remember that you are the example and they look up to you. If they feel they are just being disrespected consistently they will do the same back.

Good parenting doesn’t come fast or easy; However, you can learn it. Use what I have written and see the results. Change and modify if needed.


5 Tips Every Parent Should Know Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

parenting 238x300 5 Tips Every Parent Should Know

Parenting is a huge step in life. As the parent of a newborn you might feel anxiety come upon you. How will you teach your child? What is good and bad? Most of the time you will teach them what you’ve been taught, but what if you’re wrong? What if your ideals are wrong? You begin to question and suddenly you have so many unanswered questions. Thats ok because that is what parenting is all about. You won’t have all the answers, but you can look for them!

Listed below are some basic parenting tips that I feel every parent should know.

Tip 1: You must remember to be patient and understand with your child. Whether they are a newborn or in their teen years they still won’t be “perfect”. They never will be! It is your job as a parent to guide and instruct, but not to force or enforce. You have to teach them and the way you teach them is by showing and doing. Try to be as patient as you can with your children. They will notice.

Tip 2: Your child will often doubt their abilities for numerous reasons. Sometimes it is other kids at schools or the media sending negative thoughts. It is your job to fill them with confidence but at the same time remaining truthful. You should embrace their goals and dreams. You want them to succeed don’t you? Keep confident in order to keep them confident!

Tip 3: Overloading never helped anyone, especially not a child. Your child will often have many activities going on in their lives but it is your job to see they can handle it all. If they’re falling behind in their school work because of sports, cut some sports. Their main job should be school. Allow them to have time for homework and studying. It is not uncommon for children to be overloaded so ensure you are the one to enforce breaks!

Tip 4: Always prioritize family time. Family time should be a sacred time. It allows you and your children to bond and discuss. This is a time for connection, never be afraid to tell your child your own dreams, goals, and aspirations. You will be surprised by your children. They look up to you for so many things.

Tip 5: Create something that your entire family does together. It can be board game night or even a movie night. Whatever it is make it a ritual. This will make a cemented family activity and could even turn into a tradition. Make the best of these moments and always remain in good spirits at this time. Even if you’re not feeling it.

Parenting isn’t easy, but who said it would be? These tips should help you get along. Use them, experiment with them, and modify if you have to. Find what works for you and stick with it!


Keeping Your Active Teen Healthy Thursday, May 20th, 2010

Chances are, if you’ve got teenagers in the house, you’ve got at least one teenage athlete under your wing. Football, dance, soccer, cheerleading, lacrosse – whatever sport your teen has chosen to participate in, they’re probably going to go at it hammer and tongs, and it’s going to be up to you to help keep them healthy while they’re doing it. Read on for some things you can do to minimize the chance of injury to your active teenager.

Injuries to young athletes usually fall into one of two categories: acute or repetitive. Acute injuries include things like sprained ankles and ACL tears. Repetitive injuries result from overuse; tennis elbow is just one example. For acute injuries, immediate medical attention is imperative, because prompt, correct care is necessary to prevent permanent damage to the injured body part.

Repetitive injuries are a little trickier. First of all, you might find that your teen is quiet about nagging aches or pains; they may be under the impression that they just need to “play through it”. Pain, however, is the body’s signal that something is wrong, so watch your teen for signs that all is not well. Favoring one side of the body, a difference in movements, or hesitation before movement can all be signals that your child is in pain. Overuse injuries need to be seen by a sports medicine specialist, who can help your young athlete rehabilitate the injury site and get back on the field.

To help keep your teen from succumbing to an injury in the first place, encourage your child to cross train. An athlete that specializes too much can end up creating imbalances in the musculoskeletal system, and set your kid up for injury; cross training can help prevent this by developing a balanced body and strong core.

The final thing you should take a good look at is nutrition. We know that your teenager wants to live on burgers, pizza, and fries, but they need a balanced diet to promote proper growth and recovery. Lean proteins, fresh vegetables and fruit, and regular sources of calcium are absolutely vital to your young athlete. If you’re unsure what makes up a balanced diet for an active teen, consult your doctor or a registered dietician.

Your teenager gets so many things out of an active lifestyle. Make sure that an injury isn’t one of them.


My Kid Seems to Hate Me – Now What? Monday, May 10th, 2010

Ah, the honeymoon days of childhood, when your child thinks that there’s nothing you can’t do and nothing you don’t know. You’re her biggest hero, and all is well with the world.

Then the teenage years arrive.

Now, your kid thinks that you’re dumber than dirt and grew up in the stone age. You can’t do anything right, you don’t know anything about anything, and the soil outside in the garden has more seeming worth in her eyes than you do. What happened, and what do you do now?

As strange as it may seem, you have seen this before. Remember the “terrible twos”, when every suggestion you made was met with a shouted “NO!”? Psychologically, this is pretty much the same thing; your child is exercising her independence of thought. This isn’t a bad thing, but it can be difficult to deal with.

Try and remember that this is a normal, integral part of growing up. At this point in their lives, teens are beginning the process of separating from their parents and family, and developing their own individuality. They’re not rejecting you, even though it appears that way. They’re striking out on the path of finding their own identities. They’re putting the bricks and mortar into the foundation of their “self”.

Even though it appears as though your children are rejecting you, whatever you do, don’t reject them in return. They need to internalize the fact that you love them, and you love the person they’re becoming, even if the growing pains are hard on you as well as them. Deep inside, your teen knows that he or she still needs you. They might die before admitting it aloud, but they know it just the same. Rejecting or abandoning them now will just teach them that they’re unlovable, and they’ll start building walls instead of foundations.

However – if you child gets truly nasty with you, don’t hesitate to correct that bad behavior. Just because they don’t agree with you – and that’s probably a given – they don’t have the right to treat you with disrespect, curse at you, or become antagonistic. Manners are manners, and they’ll need them later in life, just as they will a healthy self-respect. Remember Thumper’s Mom? “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”? Not a bad tenant to teach your child. They’ll thank you for that one later.

Whatever the teenager dishes out, do your best to weather the storms. Stay calm, and hold to the mantra that “this, too, shall pass”. It really will, and you’ll find that your teen has developed into someone you can be proud of.


Your Kids Don’t Need More Friends – They Need Parents! Saturday, May 8th, 2010

As a person, it’s natural to want those who are closest to you to like you. As a parent, that’s a feeling you need to get over. Your teenagers have plenty of friends. What they need are parents.

Teenagers are at the most difficult point in their lives. They’re not ready to strike out on their own, and yet everything in them is screaming for independence. They need rules, boundaries and limitations more than ever, and they’ll never fight them so hard as they will during the teenage years. It takes nerves of steel to be a teenager’s parent. Let’s take a closer look at why.

Teens are dealing with more social pressures forcing themselves into their barely formed sense of self than at any other time in their lives. They have an almost pathological need to be liked, to be popular, because therein lies the key to their sense of well being and worth; after all, if other people like me, I must be worth liking, correct? While this is natural for them, it isn’t the safest place to gain self-esteem. It’s not deep, and it’s based on the affirmations of people just as insecure as they are! These friendships are very important, yes, but without the guidance and, occasionally, restraint of a parent, they can lead into some very murky waters indeed. Teens need to make their own mistakes, but they shouldn’t have to lead to life-long consequences. It’s up to the parent to give them enough room to fail – and provide a safe place to fall when they do.

Your teens aren’t going to like you for doing this; not right now. They’re going to rail against the “unfair” restrictions and “strict” limitations you put on them. Remember – they’ve got friends. They need you to be strong and firm here, even if they don’t realize it. And – they don’t. They want more freedoms than they’re capable of handling at this impressionable age. It’s up to you to decide what the limit is, and then to hold the line.

Ultimately, when your teenager grows into a self-assured adult, they’ll realize that the limitations you placed on them “way back when” really were for their own good, and gave them a safe place to learn, to grow, and even to push back. You might even be surprised when they thank you for giving them that soft place to land when they fell.

And the best part? You can be friends with your adult children. After all – the hard work is done; at least until the grandchildren show up.


Dads and Teenagers Sunday, April 25th, 2010

A Guest Post:

Dare I say, welcome to hell! This is probably the most difficult stage of any person’s development. Geeks, freaks, nerds and weirdo are just some words that will be a part of your teenagers’ vocabulary. Get used to it. Today’s parents are in for an even greater shock- technology! So, dad, when you were in high school, you got a girl’s number and call her at a reasonable time and spent a reasonable time talking on the pone. You dreaded the thought of meeting her parents and so on. You were probably familiar with the terms “high school jocks”, “popular kids”, “cheerleaders” and the list goes on. Do you also remember teasing or being teased? Think about all the above and take the time to deal with your children the way you would have loved for your parents to have dealt with you.

Fathers of teenagers who are on the verge of manhood and womanhood are so important. You probably feel like it is now time, for you, to go off and be free of the burdens of raising kids? Think again! They may not need you to be home but they need rules and curfew that still ensure that they are home even if you are not. They now need you to lead by example. Remember your daughter will be looking for or having a boyfriend and your son might want to take some girl home. How will you feel if they say but dad you do it too? You don’t have to give yourself a curfew but be reasonable in your ins and outs. If you are not married, the dating world may not be the best place for you now. These children will want to do as you do. The “Do as I say but not as I Do” principle will not apply to you.

Daddy of teenagers must be a permanent confidant. Yes, they will ignore you but when your daughter confides that she is secretly attracted to your neighbor’s son, keep that secret safe at least for a while. Do not violate that trust and say something to her mom or your very friendly neighbor and drinking buddy. She will not trust you if you let this out. You can hold on to some things as long as they are not detrimental. Do note that if your child confides in you something illegal, the right thing to do is report it to the proper authorities. You must discuss the position your child has put you in though. If you fear the child may abscond, report it secretly and be a subtle as you can with bringing law enforcement into your own.

The high school years can be tough. When children are left to be an adult but remain a child, they become confused. Be ready to guide those kids. What teenagers face in high school will prepare them for life. Fathers’ role in this stage of development will determine how they deal with their kids at this stage later on. Be strong and admit when you may be wrong.


Do they really listen? Thursday, August 21st, 2008

Often times, it seems that our children pay no attention to what we are saying. I can talk for hours on end, instructing them something they need to do. Time and time again, I will find that they did not actually complete the task which they were told. Most of these times, they will tell me they forgot, or that I never commanded for them do any such thing. These recurring situations make me furious, as I feel they never actually listen to what they are saying.

My teenagers especially have caused me this form of ailment. Each one, after being granted with a vehicle, was warned of their curfew prior to receiving their license. However, each of my kids has failed to follow this order, each returning home tardy on multiple occasions.

After dealing with this for years, I have found that, in actuality, our kids choose not to listen. With this capacity for selective hearing, they find it easy to make excuses when they infringe on our orders. With this in mind, any parent would inquire as to how they could enforce their instructions with added stability, to ensure that our children actually consume the purpose of our conversation.

For more information, interested parents should make sure to visit http://www.essortment.com/all/makechildrenli_rhfj.htm.


The Perfect Parent – I Think Not Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

Teenagers are almost certainly the most difficult group of human beings to deal with. Within years it seem, our adorable young’s ones mutate into the most stubborn people on the face of the earth. The wavering emotions, demanding attitudes, and endless disrespect collaborate to form the new face of our children, to which we have not yet been introduced. Though the love between us never ceases, life can become challenging as our children progress through these unsound years.

As kids ourselves, most parents probably imagined having the flawless family – respectful kids, a remarkable spouse, and the appreciated status of the perfect parent. Many of these imaginations have been manifested in our mind from stereotypes, seen from common sources such as Television Shows. As a child, I specifically remember idolizing the Walton’s family, and the integrity which followed their family relations.

Fortunately, as I began fostering my own spouse and family, I was presented with a reality check of sorts. I found that, in the real world, trouble arises within the household, particularly among our/ teenage children. In reality, we as parents are disposed to take care of our children, providing them with the needs which accompany this responsibility. With this responsibility, we are dually granted with considerable stress.

With this realization I also found that it was impossible for me to be the perfect parent. Regardless of my intentions, I will always make mistakes as a parent, and so will my child. During the teenage years, I have also matured. While these years have been stressful, they provide a means for seamless transition to adulthood. With each child, I have learned to love and respect them as an individual, though they may not follow the ideals I had in mind.

For more information on this aspect of parenting teens, visit http://www.en.articlesgratuits.com/difficult-behaviour-teenagers-part1-id569.php or http://www.teenslifesite.com/?p=35


Keeping Teenagers away from the Computer Sunday, August 17th, 2008

As technology advances, the prospective dangers which threaten our children become more apparent, especially in online platforms. In recent years, the amount of internet use has grown significantly, as children can often find entertainment surfing the web.

According to statistics, most of our children use the internet prolifically, for various purposes. Last year, the American Psychological Association conductive extensive surveying on this issue, questioning over one million teens on their internet habits. These statistics reveal that over 71% of teenager’s possess online profiles, and nearly all of them have subscribed to some sort of emailing service.

Additionally, it has been recorded that 64% of teenagers have, at some point, publicly posted vulnerable information about themselves on the web. By doing this, teenagers place themselves in jeopardy of befalling dangerous incidents, as a result of the information they have disclosed. In this same survey, it was found that over 16% of teenagers have been asked to perform a face-to-face meeting with an online acquaintance, though most have been smart enough to decline. This statistic, which does not include the large amount of teenagers who post pictures of themselves online, confirms the risk which we take by granting continual internet use to our teenagers.

When the internet was first introduced, it revealed a positive experience which would allow future generations a wholesome and enriching environment. However, though the internet is still a great resource, it has also opened up the door to dangerous, unsolicited perils. As parents, it is now our responsibility to emphasize the positive qualities of this resource.

While social networks and chatting facilities are a great form of entertainment, they must be used shrewdly, and should be considered with the appropriate discretion.

For more information on how to monitor your children’s internet use, visit http://www.onlinesafetysite.com/P1/Teenstats.htm


Lack of Respect for Young People By The Media? Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

If you read your daily newspaper you are probably well aware that it is not exactly targeted for young people. Quickly looking through the sections of the paper, besides the comics and an occasional teen blurb, there really isn’t much that would appeal to teenagers or young people. As a result, teens and other young people are taking to the internet to get their news and stay informed. Paper newspapers are getting more and more irrelevant for young individuals.

Consider the major sections of the newspaper. You will find, amongst others, Homes, Working, Cars, Wine and Fine Dining, Travel and Money. Now, honestly, most young people could care less about these things. In contrast, the topics available on the internet are much are varied and are not as static. Individuals can find up-to-the minute news. Consequently, traditional newspapers have become out-of-date for the younger generations and the internet has become their primary source of news.

Advertising is a large part of why certain sections are included in the newspapers. Newspapers require advertising to survive and the above sections provide the most revenue. While newspaper sales continue to be fairly strong, if newspaper executives don’t find a way to connect with younger readers, then the long term sustainability of the business may be in jeopardy.


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