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Let’s Talk About S-E-X

Most parents absolutely abhor the idea of having to talk to their children about sex. It can be really uncomfortable for both the parent and the child. However, it is a conversation that must be had. Actually, it will be more then one conversation but instead, an ongoing dialogue. Parents will have to continually speak on the subject even when it is difficult. Some common questions that parents have concerning speaking to their children about sex are:

When should I first broach the subject?: This is a difficult question. Children are having sex and discussing it with other kids earlier then ever. In fact, some kids are reporting their first experiences with sex as early as 10 years old. This means that you should be prepared to at least cover the basics in adolescence even before they become teenagers. Make sure that the conversation is age appropriate and that it matches your child’s maturity level.

How do I bring up the topic?: This will differ for everyone. You may want to announce to your child that you want to talk about boys and girls and their relationships with each other. Alternatively, you may want to take the opportunity to talk about sex while you and your child are watching a movie that broaches the subject.

Shouldn’t they be learning this stuff in school?: Some schools have sex-ed programs, but children and teens should learn about sex at home. They shouldn’t have to wait until it is taught in school. It is your responsibility as a parent to get them ready for life and to infuse your values into their lives, including those that have to do with sex.
What if my child doesn’t want to talk about sex?: Kids are not going to want to talk to their parents about sex. However, it is your responsibility as the adult to talk about uncomfortable topics that need to be discussed even if neither or you want to do it.

Should I tell them about my sexual experiences?: If it makes sense to do so, you may want to share some of your own sexual experiences. Of course not in a way that boasts of sexual conquests but in a way that might teach them a lesson. For example, you may want to encourage waiting to have sex until the right time, by telling them about how you wished you would have put off sex until a more appropriate time.

One Response to “Let’s Talk About S-E-X”

  1. Serena Jones-McGregor says:

    This is a biggie in my house! My oldest girls are both 8 and I have already started talking to them about sex. I had read somewhere that boys are convincing girls to perform oral sew by telling them it’s a game and that it’s not REAL sex. I know many think 8-years-old is too young to be having these discussions but I would rather them learn from me what is and is not appropriate.

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